Rumors keep buzzing about Derek Jeter engaged to his longtime love interest – but who cares? Rumors of Derek Jeter engaged are though to be bunk, as he hasn’t announced that he’s proposed to his longtime girlfriend Minka Kelly. Jeter, captain and one of the stars of the Thieving Pile of Albino Warts, also known as the Evil Empire, also known as the New York Yankees. Who knows why anyone would care about whether Derek Jeter engaged is true. Jeter, even if he does play for a second rate team that ought to be shot out of a cannon, is a first rate short stop, and is considered a consummate professional by friends and foes alike – perhaps worth the cash advance that lizard Steinbrenner paid for him.